I don't know yet.

"Why, oh why must one grow up, why must one inherit this heavy, numbing responsibility of living an undiscovered life? Out of the nothingness and the undifferentiated mass, to make something of oneself! But what? In the obscurity and pathlessness, to take a direction! But whither? How even take one step? And yet, how stand still? This was torment indeed, to inherit the responsibility of one's own life."
– D.H. Lawrence, The Rainbow